Dear Cullens
by EsmeAliceBella
Summary: Set in New Moon. Bella has waited for too long and she can't take it, she is going to take the big plunge in one week. But first she needs to say her goodbyes to the family she wants to have. Will they laugh at her and hate her or will they stop her in time? Warning: Mentions of suicide and self harm in the story.
1. Dear Esme

_Dear Esme..._

_ Today I made my final decision to send you a letter. I figured even if you and the rest of the Cullen's hate me I should write a goodbye to the only true mother I ever met. I know the chances of you reading this is minimal and if you read it and laugh... well I guess I deserve it._

_ It's true I had Renne but she wasn't a mother to me, she didn't look after me the way you did, she abandoned me as soon as she could. Then Edward bought you in to my life and I found it so hard to let you be a mother to me even if I knew in some way you were the best Mom I met. But then you did the same as Renee... You left me._

_ I don't blame you, If I was you I would leave me. I'm just a plain human who knew that having vampire's 'love' her would one day hurt her because she would ever fit in. But for some reason I felt protected by you all, like you might actually care for me and how I feel. The way a family should make there children and brothers or sister feel._

_ When Edward told me the truth and left me in the forest I realised that the family I found were the same as my biological family. I cried out for Edward... My big brothers Jasper and Emmett. My sisters Alice and Rosalie and for my newly found parents... You and Carlisle. I found myself back in my room three months later catatonic, I believe is what they called me. _

_ In a week Charlie is going hunting again and I am going cliff diving. At least thats what I will say... really I am going to jump off that cliff to kill myself. I wanted to say bye to you momma. I loved you and as much as I want to deny it knowing you will be laughing in my face for this letter I still love you. _

_ I tried to carry on for Charlie and to let you know I would live for you. I rode motorbikes with strangers to heard Edwards voice... A Cullen voice... I built bikes with a shape shifter and rode them till I fell and hit my head off a rock to hear him... But now I have lost that voice again and I know I cant live without him. Without all of you._

_ I have been trying to protect everyone I love for so long... Maybe not always from supernatural influences but from themselves. Now Victoria is back, she wants to avenge her dead mate. She wants to stop the pain she feels... The loss of a mate. She will hurt people I care about because of me. If I am dead this wouldn't happen. You wouldn't have had to leave Forks to find a new home and start again so soon because of me. _

_ I am sorry for sending you this letter knowing I was just a pet to you, a mere distraction to cause you and your family fun. I got your address off the internet ... Bye Mommy._

_Love Always _

_Isabella Marie._

* * *

__Isabella signed the letter with tears dripping solidly down her cheeks. She planned to write a goodbye letter to each Cullen and send them all. The only problem? She knew she sounded pathetic and needy as they wanted. But she couldn't bring herself to hate them.

They were her family and she would rest in peace knowing she said her final goodbyes.

As she drove to the post box she was about to post the letter when she kissed the back off the envelope and whispered to it 'Im sorry Mommy... I wished I was strong like you and I know they said your power is to love unconditionally but now I doubt it. You hated me but I love you." With that she posted the letter and began the tedious drive home.

* * *

**AN: So what do you think guys? Should I carry on or not? **


	2. Dear Carlisle

_Dear Carlisle _

_You were a father to me in ever sense of the word, You picked me up when I was down and bandaged my bruises making sure they were okay after yet another accident. Your compassion showed me what it was to care for someone and to let them feel safe. I think of you as my father even though Edward told me exactly what you all thought of me, I was just a pet to you all and you wished me to be dead really, glad to have someone to play with because of your abstinence from blood. I think that hurt me more than having one of you drain my blood or torture me. To know all the care I thought you felt for me was a sick joke and that really no-one did care._

_As I said when I wrote to Esme I don't blame any of you for leaving me, I knew I would get left eventually I guess. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon... Fates a bit of a back-stabber I figure. Even thought I feel that way I know that you would still expect me to be able to carry on and live to see what the pain did to me. So I did. I was a adrenaline junkie while I waited to see if any of you would come back and see how I was or if Alice would still get visions of my stupidity. I guess she just laughs at them know. _

_I don't know why but I thought out of all of your family you would be the one to say goodbye to me. I think it is because of your compassion I guess.. But you didn't. You didn't care that Edward left me in the woods to die or be found by shape-shifters as the case may be. I remember the night of my birthday I told you you weren't soulless like you believed. Your too kind for that, and even after everything I still believe that, you and your whole family are too kind to have no soul._

_ You are probably the only person I will tell this too, if you want to laugh feel free. I would rather you laugh than act like you care like you used too. But since you left I have been self harming, It was the only way I could feel something other than numbness. I did it to feel something again, I did it in the hope that my blood would slowly run out and I would bleed to death on my mattress or in the shower. It was hard to even think any of your names for a long time. But when I did cut myself or burn myself I could imagine any of you trying to stop me but stopping. In my subconscious state I understood the hate you felt for me._

_I want to thank you for the chance you gave me to get to know you and for saving me so many times, I may not understand why you did it now but you seemed to care enough to want to be sure I was safe at some point. You showed me the way a parent should treat this daughter, I know I wasn't a perfect daughter like Alice or Rosalie. But I finally understood the way a parent should be, I know if you had biological children you would have been a perfect father to them because you were to me. I am sorry if I cause any of your family further upset by sending these letters but I feel that you need to know exactly how you left me. _

_I faintly remember Edward telling me Esme died by falling off a cliff and you saved her, I remember at the time I thought how romantic it was for you to do that. How perfect your love was and still is. Please I know you do not feel for me but look after Esme, she deserves to be happy as do you. I once thought you were the meaning of the song 'You can let go now daddy' because you were the perfect father to me. I know realize it wasn't meant to be but thank you for the opportunity. _

_Thank you daddy, I know you probably wont read this but Thank you. When I'm dead I hope you finally understand how much I loved you all._

_I love you daddy._

_Love Always _

_Isabella Marie_

* * *

Bella signed the letter with a flourish barely only now noticing the tears that had now formed on the cheeks. They were for the one real dad she knew. Of course she loved Charlie too but he was not Carlisle, he didn't care for her well-being the way Carlisle appeared to. Maybe that's what hurt her the most.

She posted the letter later that night, and didn't notice the sign attached to the mail box. It said:  
_**NO POST TO BE DELIEVED FOR 5 DAYS DUE TO WEATHER CONDITIONS.**_

* * *

_**AN: Hey guys I hope you like my letter to Carlisle, I might but a twist in a the end and have the Cullens not make it in time to get back or something like that, or maybe there will be a romantic you will have to wait to see :3 If I get 5 more review I will post a new chapter again :3**_

_**Thanks :3**_


	3. Dear Rose

_Dear Rosalie, _

_You are probably the last person expecting to get a letter off me to say goodbye but you showed me the world through a different set of eyes. You were a big sister to me even though you tried to warn me away it made me like you more because you protected the family I so desperately wanted to be a part of. _

_I know you wanted me to stay human so that I could have children and have everything you wanted but could not have... But I cant have children. Not only because I am in love with Edward but because when I was 11 I was in a car accident, It left me infertile from the internal damage I had, but If I could have had children I would have done everything in my power to make sure you and Emmett had a child of there own as I know how important children are to you. Maybe now you understand. _

_I wanted to say goodbye to you because you made me feel like I had a sister who I could almost trust, I don't know many who I could trust but even through your hate you made me feel loved. Fucked up right? _

_I ask one favour of you when I am gone, Keep Emmett laughing. Even though you all hate me I want to know the big bear is still laughing at me. _

_I am sorry for wrecking your perfect family and getting in the way._

_You are so beautiful and I am so proud to have once known you even if it does not seem like it, you were a big sister to me (feel free to hate me even more know) but I love you. _

_Once I thought you might kill me, probably just through the glares you gave me but know I know I will die differently, I realise I am not strong like you. You are so strong and I never really noticed... You hide a lot on the shadows even though it doesn't seem like it, you can see the difference when you are around your family and fading back slightly then when your at school trying to ignore the attention that you deserve. _

_I hope one day another notices that, Not just your family's pet. You deserve that at least._

_Goodbye Forever Rose._

_Love always_

_Isabella Marie._

_P.S. I knew you hated me but at least I said goodbye. _

* * *

Bella signed this letter with a content smile. She was happy to have said goodbye to her big sister.

By now Bella realised the Cullen's were ignoring her letters but she still posted the letter. Maybe this would change there minds? Or give her piece of mind.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys sorry the chapters a bit late I was really busy yesterday and I know this one is shorter but I couldnt really picture how to get Bells to feel for Rose. **

**Drop me a review? :3**


	4. Dear Jazzy

_Dear Jasper ,_

_First of all I do not blame you for the party and what happened. Did you realise you were feeling the blood lust of every other vampire in that room that night? Excluding maybe Dad. I know you don't believe this but I will never ever blame you. _

_**YOU ARE MY BIG BROTHER AND I DO NOT BLAME YOU!**_

_Do you understand now?  
One day I wished I could hug you, tell you how much you meant to me. I have so much respect for you because you are so strong and mean so much to your family, I know you do not have the same up bringing as your family and for that I have a deeper respect for you because you have it a lot harder than them. _

_I wonder if you felt the love I felt for you, I remember when I asked Edward to change me one day in the meadow he asked me why and I said how I wanted to be with the family for all eternity. That means you included. You may not have been as close to me as Alice or Edward or maybe even Emmett but I still felt for you. That day I had daydreams of what it would be like hunting or wrestling with my brothers. I was tempted to ask you to take me hunting one day so I could get to know you better. _

_I am alone now, and it scares me more than before. I know I have been alone all my life but I knew the love of a family now.  
It was so weird when I came out of my catatonic state, it made me realise that life really is a bitch. I want you to know that I will always love you, And when I die in a few days it is not your fault... Unless of course you want to think it is so it makes it funnier for you. I know how much you and Alice and all of the Cullen's want to laugh at me through the hatred they feel for me.  
Believe me Edward told me alright._

_He left me in the wood's you see? He told me how much of a burden I was to all of you and how much I was a pet to you all. _

_I didn't believe it at first, I thought to myself that my sisters and brothers and parents would never do that to me. I guess things were pretty twisted in my mind compared to the rest of yours. Is that all I was to you all? A pet._

_I know realise I was only kept around because the smell of my blood sensitised you all so much.  
I guess I really was that dumb to think you loved me huh? _

_I thought I would only tell this to Carlisle.. but I realise I want to tell you now, About how I cut myself and burnt myself to the point that I could finally feel something again instead of this mind stilling numbness. It was like the pain could lift the blanket covering my brain for a few moments. I realise now I did it to get rid of as much of this precious blood you all loved. _

_I changed the original plan I had to just jump off a cliff like it was easy, first I am going to slit my wrists and let the blood gush out as I stand with my back to the water at the bottom of the cliff, I will leave as many cuts on my body as possible. Non of you want that blood properly so I may as well let it scar the memories of the weak humans you laugh at. Why not huh? _

_I will __**always **__love you Jasper Whitlock-Hale-Cullen. _

_Your the best big brother I could have hoped for._

_Love forever_

_Isabella Marie._

* * *

Bella smiled the first full smile she had smiles since they left, Writing to her big brother had left her energised slightly and a weird feeling of happiness settled itself in her stomach. The feeling was foreign to Bella, it had been too long since she felt this happy.

After posting the letter to Jasper she went home and began to think about who to write to next.

* * *

**AN: Hey again guys, I thought I should make up for missing yesterday so I wrote an extra chapter for you.**

**Next chapter will be up tomorrow If I can get another 10 reviews? **

**Thanks to danceswithhorses who gave me the idea to write to Carlisle second, If you want a certain charector next put it in your review! **

**Thankies :3**


	5. Dear Emmett and Songs?

_Dear Big Brother Bear..._

_Why did you leave me Emmett? I think I made less sense of you leaving than anyone else.. I know you all wanted to play me but why not just crush me once in one of those bear hugs you give, you could have probably caused the same amount of damage in one hug than you did leaving me._

_You stopped Lauren and Jessica bullying me... do you know how much that meant to me? How much I felt like crying myself to sleep because of the bullying restarting without my big brother to look after me._

_I dont know how to say this in a letter but please know I love you Emmett... Please tell the family I do care. _

_I'm writing songs for you all in my last few days... If you ever want the lyrics they will be in my room. I hope you understand that I cant live without you all..._

_Goodbye Brother. _

_Love Always_

_Belly-Boo _

* * *

Bella's tears were instant. She didnt know how to speak to the man she classed as a big brother any more. Thats what scared her most. She had 3 days left and it meant little to her anymore. She knew they weren't coming to save her, they really didn't care for her.

Bella kissed the back of the envelope and posted it in to the post box, her thin wrist showing her bones as she did so, the long sleeves she wore covering her scars. The scars of life.

* * *

Later that night Bella decided to work on Esme's song. She picked up her guitar and began to play and sing, the words flowing naturally out of her in to the song.

_**Mama you taught me to do the right things  
So now you have to let your baby fly  
You've given me everything that I will need  
To make it through this crazy thing called life  
And I know you watch me grow up and only want whats best for me  
And I think I found the answer to your prayers**_

_**And he is good, so good**_  
_**He treats your little girl like a real man should**_  
_**He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps**_  
_**No he's never gonna leave**_  
_**So dont you worry about me**_  
_**Dont you worry about me**_

_**Mama theres no way you'll ever lose me**_  
_**And giving me away is not goodbye**_  
_**As you watch me walk down to my future, I hope tears of joy are in your eyes**_

_**Cuz he is good, so good**_  
_**He treats your little girl like a real man should**_  
_**He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps**_  
_**No he's never gonna leave**_  
_**So dont you worry about me**_  
_**Dont you worry about me**_

_**And when I watch my little baby grow I'll only want whats best for her**_  
_**And I hope she'll find the answer to my prayers**_  
_**And that she'll say**_

_**He is good, so good**_  
_**He treats your little girl like a real man should**_  
_**He is good, so good, he makes promises he keeps**_  
_**No he's never gonna leave**_  
_**So dont you worry about me**_  
_**Dont you worry about me**_

_**Mama dont you worry about me**_

_**Dont you worry about me**_

Bella stopped the song ignoring the tears flowing naturally down her cheeks and she smiled. She knew know that Esme's song was complete because it described everything about her and Esme's relationship.

* * *

Bella screamed slightly as she yet again woke from the nightmares, Groaning she checked the time and saw it to be 5:30 and knew Charlie was getting ready for work yet again. Bella once again began to play without thinking about anyone except her father figures and with that her song began.

**_Wind blowin' on my face  
Sidewalk flyin' beneath my bike  
A five year-old's first taste  
Of what freedom's really like  
He was runnin' right beside me  
His hand holdin' on the seat  
I took a deep breath and hollered  
As I headed for the street_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Oh, I think I'm ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It's still a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**

**_I was standin' at the altar_**  
**_Between the two loves of my life_**  
**_To one I've been a daughter_**  
**_To one I soon would be a wife_**  
**_When the preacher asked,_**  
**_'Who gives this woman?'_**  
**_Daddy's eyes filled up with tears_**  
**_He kept holdin' tightly to my arm_**  
**_'Till I whispered in his ear_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Oh, I think I'm ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It still feels a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**

**_It was killin' me to see_**  
**_The strongest man I ever knew_**  
**_Wastin' away to nothin'_**  
**_In that hospital room_**  
**_'You know he's only hangin' on for you'_**  
**_That's what the night nurse said_**  
**_My voice and heart were breakin'_**  
**_As I crawled up in his bed, and said_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Your little girl is ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It's gonna be a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_You can let go_**

* * *

**_AN:_**

**_OML guys im so so sorry it took me so long to update but I literally didn't know what to say on this chapter so its pretty crap :( please keep reviewing even if its to tell me how much of a failure I was._**

**_Songs: _**

**_Mama's Song - Carrie Underwood_**

**_and _**

**_You Can Let Go Now Daddy - Crystal Shawanda _**


	6. Dear Alice did you care?

Bella woke drenched in sweat once again; her recurring nightmare having come to a close. She knew today she was saying goodbye to the one true friend she knew and it terrified her. What if she got the words wrong? What if she upset Alice?

Bella let out a frustrated and sad whimper and decided to write a song for Rosalie before writing to Alice.. maybe it would help.

_**This is a crazy world  
These can be lonely times  
It's hard to know who's on your side  
Most of the time**_

_**Who can you really trust**_  
_**Who do you really know**_  
_**Is there anybody out there**_  
_**Who can make you feel less alone**_  
_**Some times you just can't make it on your own**_

_**If you need a place where you can run**_  
_**If you need a shoulder to cry on**_  
_**I'll always be your friend**_

_**When you need some shelter from the rain**_  
_**When you need a healer for your pain**_  
_**I will be there time and time again**_  
_**When you need someone to love you**_  
_**Here I am, hmmm**_

_**If you have broken dreams**_  
_**Just lay them all on me**_  
_**I'll be the one who understands**_  
_**So take my hand**_

_**If you reach emptyness**_

_**You know I'll do my best**_  
_**To fill you up with all the love**_  
_**That I can show someone**_  
_**I promise you you'll never walk alone**_

_**Well if you need a place where you can run**_  
_**If you need a shoulder to cry on**_  
_**I'll always be your friend**_

_**When you need some shelter from the rain**_  
_**When you need a healer for your pain**_  
_**I will be there time and time again**_  
_**When you need someone to love you**_  
_**Here I am, oooo**_

_**Everybody needs somebody who**_  
_**keep a heart and soul in two**_

_**Well if you need a place where you can run**_  
_**If you need a shoulder to cry on**_  
_**I'll always be your friend**_

_**When you need some shelter from the rain**_  
_**When you need a healer for your pain**_  
_**I will be there time and time again**_  
_**When you need someone to love you**_  
_**Here I am, Here I am**_

Bella finished the song with a smile, She knew that song would represent Rose more than anything else.

* * *

Bella sat at her desk and began to write once more, the smile she once bore was gone again and pain filled her features. Tomorrow after posting _**his**_ letter she would die. The relief she felt at that was instant. Her one lifeline was still here.

_Dear Alice, _

_I wanted to say goodbye to you as one of the last. Did you realise when you left I didn't just loose my love I lost my family? _

_I never realised how badly I wanted to have a family and sisters till I met you, I would never admit it in person but those shopping trips with you meant the world to me because we were spending time together which was something I believe families do. The same as I would cook with Esme so I could spend time with my mother, Talk about History to Jasper and learn from my big brother.. Well you get the picture. _

_So when you all left I became depressed. Where Edward left me in the forest was where I stayed until a shape-shifter came and found me, he lifted me in his arms and told me I was safe and nobody would ever hurt me again. No 'Bloodsuckers' could touch me now. That made me cry harder, he would kill you if you had come to me before but even he gave up now. He realised I wasn't worth the effort he had to put in. _

_How true is that statement? Im not worth the effort._

_I never really realised until I met you that I wasn't worth the effort for your family to put it, the act to remain human for longer just because some pathetic plain bitch was hanging around. I know now it was only to test yourselves...but I believe now I once had a chance to at least find love in a family other than some made up one in my head. _

_I know you have most likely seen my decision to jump and will wish to read this and laugh as you imagine me hitting the water, probably hitting my head or breaking bones in the process, is this what it feels like to miss a family? _

_Please tell me Alice, do you see my coming back up._

_Do you see me living again? _

_Bella._

Bella signed the letter and reached for her razor blade, slowly she made cuts all up her arm and let the blood drip off her arm on to the paper, her last act of defiance to the Cullen family. She could only wish that they really cared. Who knew maybe they would try and lick the blood off the paper.

* * *

After posting the letter Bella carefully cleaned her cuts and the razor to make sure it didn't infect and Charlie wouldn't find out before she once more sat down to sing and come up with a song. She knew she needed a song with meaning for Jasper. And with that thought in mind she began to play and sing.

_**Your little hand's wrapped around my finger**_

**_And it's so quiet in the world tonight_**  
**_Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming_**  
**_So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light_**  
**_To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret_**  
**_I'd give all I have, honey_**  
**_If you could stay like that_**

**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little_**  
**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple_**  
**_I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart_**  
**_And no one will desert you_**  
**_Just try to never grow up, never grow up_**

**_You're in the car on the way to the movies_**  
**_And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off_**  
**_At 14 there's just so much you can't do_**  
**_And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots_**  
**_But don't make her drop you off around the block_**  
**_Remember that she's getting older too_**  
**_And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school_**

**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little_**  
**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple_**  
**_No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred_**  
**_And even though you want to, just try to never grow up_**

**_Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room_**  
**_Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home_**  
**_Remember the footsteps, remember the words said_**  
**_And all your little brother's favorite songs_**  
**_I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone_**

**_So here I am in my new apartment_**  
**_In a big city, they just dropped me off_**  
**_It's so much colder that I thought it would be_**  
**_So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on_**

**_Wish I'd never grown up_**  
**_I wish I'd never grown up_**

**_Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_**  
**_I could still be little_**  
**_Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up_**  
**_It could still be simple_**  
**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little_**  
**_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple_**  
**_Won't let nobody hurt you_**  
**_Won't let no one break your heart_**  
**_And even though you want to, please try to never grow up_**  
**_Oh, don't you ever grow up_**  
**_Oh, never grow up, just never grow up_**

Bella finished the song and realised how much she still wished for the family she wouldn't have. The family she thought loved her.. but it was now true they didn't.

* * *

_**AN: hey guys thank you for the reviews,**_

_**I did read every single one but I was getting mixed messages about whether or not to put the lyrics in. **_

_**Personally I prefer to have the lyrics in so you can see how it is relevant to that person but if you review can you tell me what you would prefer please because I like to make you guys happy. **_

_**:3**_

_**Love Beth **_


	7. The Letters Arrival

I felt my eyes roll back in to my head and Jazzy take my hands in the same soothing manor he has for the last 4 months but this time its different, I'm being dragged in to a vision.

_The door bell rings and I skip to the door with a smile. WAIT A SMILE?!_

_I answer the door and a postmans stood there holding 6 letters, that smell oddly familiar. "Hey urm.. I need someone to sign for these.." I nod and sign quickly before taking the letter my thanks stuck in my throat. What did these letters mean? _

I came out of my vision just as the doorbell rang and I ran to the door determined just to find these letters. Yet again everything happened like my vision and I recognised the scent on these letters... Bella's scent.

Since we left Bella nothing has been the same, The family is in a depression and I dont think we will ever be the same.

You see Edward lost his love but we all lost our sister or daughter.

Esme never smiles any more, her heartshaped face looks so down cast with her caramel hair hanging lank around her face instead of bouncy like it used to be, Esme lost the will to bother when she left her daughter, it reminded her too much of the cause of her own death.

Carlisle, he constantly works so he will be out the house and not have to deal with the depression he feels, he fakes his smile to try and help us all when he is home but you can see how much he worries about his baby girl. You can see it in his eyes that in some ways he means more to us than myself and Rosalie, only because he can actually fix her up and care for her like he would his own child.

Rosalie, well she may have been least effected by Bella's effect on the family in some ways but as soon as we left it became apparent to us just how much of a little sister Bella had become to Rosalie, she was Rosalie's rock in some ways and Rose worried about her because of all the unsuspecting looks she got of boys and how she never noticed them.

Jasper, well my Jazzy just sits there depressed, Bella reminds him of the sister he left behind when he was changed and he believes Bella blames him for having to leave.

Emmett... well Emmett barely hunts any more He doesn't joke or laugh... he isn't there as much as he used to be, He only talks to Rose now because she can bring him some comfort...

I wont even begin on me and Edward... We are oxymoron's of our previous selves. Bella's absence causing us to be completely different.

I looked at the pile of letters in my hands before shouting for the first time in a long four months "FAMILY MEETING."

* * *

Once everyone was seated (minus Edward who was missing somewhere in South Africa) I began to explain.

"Look.. I know nobody wants to be here right now but I see this is the only way that we will actually read these letters, They are from Bella."

Immediatly the shouts of why's and how's began but I silenced them with a quick scream. "We need to read them to each other it's the only way we actually figure this out.. and we start with Esme's letter." Esme gave me a small nod and took the letter from me, It was only know that I noticed since I had mentioned Bella she seemed to have cheered slightly, her hair seemed more colourful and her eyes had a slight twinkle to them.

Who knew my sister had this much effect on us all...

And With that Esme Began to read.

* * *

**_AN: Hey guys, I am going to go with Natalie's idea of instead of putting all the lyrics I will put the first verse and then you can look it up yourselves if you want too, and I will be putting each letter read by the cullens out loud so you will see repeats of the letters. But I am doing this so you can see the Cullen's exact emotions when reading parts of the letters. Its your choice, do you want Bella to be saved or not? _**


	8. Esme's POV and Bella's Last Decision

I looked up as Alice handed me my letter, It felt like part of me was coming home. Only a mother would know how this would feel when their lost child reappears in any shape or form.

I forced my voice to come out crystal clear as I began to read;

(_**Esme's**_** Thoughts**) (_Letter)_

_"Dear Esme..._

_Today I made my final decision to send you a letter. I figured even if you and the rest of the Cullen's hate me I should write a goodbye to the only true mother I ever met. I know the chances of you reading this is minimal and if you read it and laugh... well I guess I deserve it."_

**_NO NO NO my sweet baby girl, I could never laugh at you sweetheart. I would never hate you either your my sweet innocent baby, and what about Renee.. she's your mother sweetheart. Even if I hate that I know its true._**

_"It's true I had Renne but she wasn't a mother to me, she didn't look after me the way you did, she abandoned me as soon as she could. Then Edward bought you in to my life and I found it so hard to let you be a mother to me even if I knew in some way you were the best Mom I met. But then you did the same as Renee... You left me._

_I don't blame you, If I was you I would leave me. I'm just a plain human who knew that having vampire's 'love' her would one day hurt her because she would ever fit in. But for some reason I felt protected by you all, like you might actually care for me and how I feel. The way a family should make there children and brothers or sister feel."_

**_NO BELLA! I would never really leave you im so sorry baby I wish I was there with you now. You will never realise how much you saying I was the best mom you met meant to me. How could you think you were plain sweetheart, did you not see how much every member of this family lit up when you came in to the house? I know I did... _**

_"When Edward told me the truth and left me in the forest I realised that the family I found were the same as my biological family. I cried out for Edward... My big brothers Jasper and Emmett. My sisters Alice and Rosalie and for my newly found parents... You and Carlisle. I found myself back in my room three months later catatonic, I believe is what they called me._

_In a week Charlie is going hunting again and I am going cliff diving. At least thats what I will say... really I am going to jump off that cliff to kill myself. I wanted to say bye to you momma. I loved you and as much as I want to deny it knowing you will be laughing in my face for this letter I still love you."_

**_You will never realise how much we all wanted to be accepted by you as your family Bella... please sweet heart dont jump. I will stop you.. don't do the same stupid thing I did to myself. _**

_"I tried to carry on for Charlie and to let you know I would live for you. I rode motorbikes with strangers to heard Edwards voice... A Cullen voice... I built bikes with a shape shifter and rode them till I fell and hit my head off a rock to hear him... But now I have lost that voice again and I know I cant live without him. Without all of you."_

**_Your so strong baby girl, Please baby just hold on till I can get there... as soon as this meetings over I will be there baby._**

_"I have been trying to protect everyone I love for so long... Maybe not always from supernatural influences but from themselves. Now Victoria is back, she wants to avenge her dead mate. She wants to stop the pain she feels... The loss of a mate. She will hurt people I care about because of me. If I am dead this wouldn't happen. You wouldn't have had to leave Forks to find a new home and start again so soon because of me._

_I am sorry for sending you this letter knowing I was just a pet to you, a mere distraction to cause you and your family fun. I got your address off the internet ... Bye Mommy._

_Love Always_

_Isabella Marie."_

_**As I read the end of the letter I knew my heart break was apparent in my eyes as Carlisle's hand wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me in to his lap to comfort me.. How could I do this to my baby? What sort of mother would let her child live through pain alone? **_

_**I vowed when my mother left me to Charles's wrath I would never let that happen to a child of mine but am I not as bad as my own mother? I left my baby girl to fend for herself after she finally began to trust us all.**_

_**Hang on Bella.. Im coming for you.**_

* * *

Bella sighed, she was working on the last 3 songs she had to write for the family.

With an awkward sigh she began Emmett's song :

_**Tall, dark and superman  
He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away  
To save the world or go to work  
It's the same thing to me  
He's got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition  
I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him  
I hang on every word you say, yay  
And you smile and say, "How are you? "  
I say, "Just fine"  
I always forget to tell you, I love you, I love you... forever**_

I watch superman fly away  
You've got a busy day today  
Go save the world, I'll be around  
I watch superman fly away  
Come back I'll be with you someday  
I'll be right here on the ground  
When you come back down

Bella let out a soft giggle, this song described Emmett exactly how she wanted it too.

* * *

Bella smiled and began to work on Alice's song knowing how special this song had to be.

_**I come home in the morning light,  
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"  
Oh,mother,dear,  
We're not the fortunate ones,  
And girls,  
They wanna have fu-un.  
Oh,girls,  
Just wanna have fun.**_

The phone rings in the middle of the night,  
My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?"  
Oh,daddy,dear,  
You know you're still number one,

Bella giggled, this was defiantly a song she could imagine Alice singing.

* * *

With a sigh Bella began to work on the last song she was going to write, Edwards song.

She had decided not to write him a letter because it was too painful. His Bella was dead.

_**When will I see you again?**_  
_**You left with no goodbye,**_  
_**Not a single word was said,**_  
_**No final kiss to seal any sins,**_  
_**I had no idea of the state we were in,**_

_**I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness,**_  
_**And a wandering eye, and heaviness in my head,**_

_**But don't you remember?**_  
_**Don't you remember?**_  
_**The reason you loved me before,**_  
_**Baby, please remember me once more,**_

* * *

_**AN: Hey guys, Basically I decided to post a chapter every hour starting now and ending probably at 11 o'clock. **_

_**So this was Esme's reaction and the last 3 songs, Basically I had some people saying no lyrics some saying all lyrics so I split the middle and put a few of the lyrics so you can choose if you want to find it or not.**_

_**The songs In this chapter are:**_

_**Taylor Swift - Superman**_

_**Cyndi Lauper -Girls Just Wanna Have Fun**_

_**Adele - Do you remember**_


	9. Carlisles POV

I dreaded opening my letter, after my love read hers out I just wanted to run to my daughter and shake the sense in to her and teach her how to behave. But shes not my daughter anymore... I was a Idiot and agreed to leave my baby girl behind.

Alice handed me the letter and I noticed how badly she was shaking, almost as if it were her letter she had opened.

I parted my lips and began to read.

(_**Carlisle's thoughts.)**_

_"Dear Carlisle_

_You were a father to me in ever sense of the word, You picked me up when I was down and bandaged my bruises making sure they were okay after yet another accident. Your compassion showed me what it was to care for someone and to let them feel safe. I think of you as my father even though Edward told me exactly what you all thought of me, I was just a pet to you all and you wished me to be dead really, glad to have someone to play with because of your abstinence from blood. I think that hurt me more than having one of you drain my blood or torture me. To know all the care I thought you felt for me was a sick joke and that really no-one did care."_

**_NO ISABELLA YOU COULD NEVER BE A PET! What in gods name did my son do to you!_**

_"As I said when I wrote to Esme I don't blame any of you for leaving me, I knew I would get left eventually I guess. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon... Fates a bit of a back-stabber I figure. Even thought I feel that way I know that you would still expect me to be able to carry on and live to see what the pain did to me. So I did. I was a adrenaline junkie while I waited to see if any of you would come back and see how I was or if Alice would still get visions of my stupidity. I guess she just laughs at them know."_

**_Oh sweet innocent Bella if only I could prove to you we didn't want to leave... Was there some way we could prove this to you again? Why do you not understand that Alice cares for you and your a little sister to her? _**

_"I don't know why but I thought out of all of your family you would be the one to say goodbye to me. I think it is because of your compassion I guess.. But you didn't. You didn't care that Edward left me in the woods to die or be found by shape-shifters as the case may be. I remember the night of my birthday I told you you weren't soulless like you believed. Your too kind for that, and even after everything I still believe that, you and your whole family are too kind to have no soul."_

**_EDWARD DID WHAT, WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT BOY! Please baby girl I know you believe in us.. wait when was this letter dated... _**

_"You are probably the only person I will tell this too, if you want to laugh feel free. I would rather you laugh than act like you care like you used too. But since you left I have been self harming, It was the only way I could feel something other than numbness. I did it to feel something again, I did it in the hope that my blood would slowly run out and I would bleed to death on my mattress or in the shower. It was hard to even think any of your names for a long time. But when I did cut myself or burn myself I could imagine any of you trying to stop me but stopping. In my subconscious state I understood the hate you felt for me."_

_**Oh Isabella I could never laugh at you.. I do however know that when I do come back (which I now am certain will happen) we will be having several serious conversations. I do not believe you believed Edward and his stupidity baby girl.**_

_"I want to thank you for the chance you gave me to get to know you and for saving me so many times, I may not understand why you did it now but you seemed to care enough to want to be sure I was safe at some point. You showed me the way a parent should treat this daughter, I know I wasn't a perfect daughter like Alice or Rosalie. But I finally understood the way a parent should be, I know if you had biological children you would have been a perfect father to them because you were to me. I am sorry if I cause any of your family further upset by sending these letters but I feel that you need to know exactly how you left me."_

**_Bella you were always a perfect daughter to me, you would be to any father, a daughter does not need to be the best behaved but to be perfect to her father all she must do is tell him she loves him or call him Dad. I thank the lords I met you because you made me feel alive once more and to understand how it is for a father to be needed by his child. How could you ever think you upset us like this..._**

_"I faintly remember Edward telling me Esme died by falling off a cliff and you saved her, I remember at the time I thought how romantic it was for you to do that. How perfect your love was and still is. Please I know you do not feel for me but look after Esme, she deserves to be happy as do you. I once thought you were the meaning of the song 'You can let go now daddy' because you were the perfect father to me. I know realize it wasn't meant to be but thank you for the opportunity."_

_**Isabella you better keep your time scale of a week or I swear I will kill Edward and myself.**_

_"Thank you daddy, I know you probably wont read this but Thank you. When I'm dead I hope you finally understand how much I loved you all._

_I love you daddy._

_Love Always_

_Isabella Marie"_

_**No Bella!**_

* * *

Carlisle looked up, the hurt evident in his eyes as he read the date on his and Esme's letter.. a defeated whisper came from his mouth "We have 18 hours to get there... but first we must finish reading." Esme tried to console her lover knowing the pain they both felt from the letter they received from there youngest.

* * *

**_AN: Hey guys if your still awake drop me a review? One more chapter up tonight!_**

**_I would also like to say a massive thank you to Harry Albus Potter Dumbledore your reviews never fail to make me smile and inspire me to write more._**


	10. Rosalies POV

_**NO I CANT READ A LETTER OF BELLA. **_

_**NO JUST NO... **_

_"Dear Rosalie,_

_You are probably the last person expecting to get a letter off me to say goodbye but you showed me the world through a different set of eyes. You were a big sister to me even though you tried to warn me away it made me like you more because you protected the family I so desperately wanted to be a part of."_

**_Bella understood my motives for pushing her away? How... was I that open to her? _**

_"I know you wanted me to stay human so that I could have children and have everything you wanted but could not have... But I cant have children. Not only because I am in love with Edward but because when I was 11 I was in a car accident, It left me infertile from the internal damage I had, but If I could have had children I would have done everything in my power to make sure you and Emmett had a child of there own as I know how important children are to you. Maybe now you understand."_

**_Oh no Bella... I am so sorry Bella you didn't deserve any of this, non of my bitchiness or any of the pain you now feel. Little sister I will make sure your saved... Mom and Dad will come save you I already see it in there eyes._**

_"I wanted to say goodbye to you because you made me feel like I had a sister who I could almost trust, I don't know many who I could trust but even through your hate you made me feel loved. Fucked up right?_

_I ask one favour of you when I am gone, Keep Emmett laughing. Even though you all hate me I want to know the big bear is still laughing at me."_

**_Bella you will be here to make sure he is still laughing I will make sure of it. Even if I have to change you myself._**

**_Wait.. you trust me even after everything? You are one strong woman Isabella Swan._**

_"I am sorry for wrecking your perfect family and getting in the way._

_You are so beautiful and I am so proud to have once known you even if it does not seem like it, you were a big sister to me (feel free to hate me even more know) but I love you."_

**_BELLA I DO NOT HATE YOU. GOD I WISH YOU COULD READ MY THOUGHTS OKAY I DON'T HATE YOU. I JUST WANTED YOU HUMAN SO YOU WOULD LIVE AND HAVE A CHANCE._**

_"Once I thought you might kill me, probably just through the glares you gave me but know I know I will die differently, I realise I am not strong like you. You are so strong and I never really noticed... You hide a lot on the shadows even though it doesn't seem like it, you can see the difference when you are around your family and fading back slightly then when your at school trying to ignore the attention that you deserve."_

**_Bella.. how can you notice this but no-one else does... When I come back to you me and you need to have some girl time.. hmm maybe shop- going to the cinema._**

_"I hope one day another notices that, Not just your family's pet. You deserve that at least._

_Goodbye Forever Rose._

_Love always_

_Isabella Marie._

_P.S. I knew you hated me but at least I said goodbye."_

**_NO BELLA PLEASE GOD NO!_**

* * *

Nobody was more shocked than Rose as she ran in to Esme and tried to hide in her mothers arms and begged them to save her baby sister... Something they knew would happen even if it killed them in the process.


	11. Jaspers POV

**_Bella wrote heartfelt letters to everyone else.. and now I'm going to read mine and she will tell me how much she hates me. _**

**_Why do I have so little control! She was my little sister I am meant to protect her!_**

_"Dear Jasper ,_

_First of all I do not blame you for the party and what happened. Did you realise you were feeling the blood lust of every other vampire in that room that night? Excluding maybe Dad. I know you don't believe this but I will never ever blame you._

**YOU ARE MY BIG BROTHER AND I DO NOT BLAME YOU!"**

_**She doesn't blame me?! I can't believe she doesn't blame me. **_

"_Do you understand now?  
One day I wished I could hug you, tell you how much you meant to me. I have so much respect for you because you are so strong and mean so much to your family, I know you do not have the same up bringing as your family and for that I have a deeper respect for you because you have it a lot harder than them."_

**_Oh sweet little sister of mine you have no idea how much that means to me..._**

"_I wonder if you felt the love I felt for you, I remember when I asked Edward to change me one day in the meadow he asked me why and I said how I wanted to be with the family for all eternity. That means you included. You may not have been as close to me as Alice or Edward or maybe even Emmett but I still felt for you. That day I had daydreams of what it would be like hunting or wrestling with my brothers. I was tempted to ask you to take me hunting one day so I could get to know you better."_

**_Bella actually wanted to know me? She wanted me to teach her to hunt! DAMN MY STUPID LACK OF CONTROL I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR MY SISTER!_**

"_I am alone now, and it scares me more than before. I know I have been alone all my life but I knew the love of a family now.  
It was so weird when I came out of my catatonic state, it made me realise that life really is a bitch. I want you to know that I will always love you, And when I die in a few days it is not your fault... Unless of course you want to think it is so it makes it funnier for you. I know how much you and Alice and all of the Cullen's want to laugh at me through the hatred they feel for me.  
Believe me Edward told me alright."_

**_WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT SON OF A BITCH ILL RIP HIS FUCKING HEAD_****_OFF!_**

"

_He left me in the wood's you see? He told me how much of a burden I was to all of you and how much I was a pet to you all._

_I didn't believe it at first, I thought to myself that my sisters and brothers and parents would never do that to me. I guess things were pretty twisted in my mind compared to the rest of yours. Is that all I was to you all? A pet._

_I know realise I was only kept around because the smell of my blood sensitised you all so much.  
I guess I really was that dumb to think you loved me huh?"_

**_No Bella you weren't dumb.. god damnit what did us leaving do to you!_**

"_I thought I would only tell this to Carlisle.. but I realise I want to tell you now, About how I cut myself and burnt myself to the point that I could finally feel something again instead of this mind stilling numbness. It was like the pain could lift the blanket covering my brain for a few moments. I realise now I did it to get rid of as much of this precious blood you all loved._

_I changed the original plan I had to just jump off a cliff like it was easy, first I am going to slit my wrists and let the blood gush out as I stand with my back to the water at the bottom of the cliff, I will leave as many cuts on my body as possible. Non of you want that blood properly so I may as well let it scar the memories of the weak humans you laugh at. Why not huh?"_

_**Bella I will not let you do this! **_

**"**_I will __**always **__love you Jasper Whitlock-Hale-Cullen._

_Your the best big brother I could have hoped for._

_Love forever_

_Isabella Marie."_

_**Bella will not die I wont let her!**_

* * *

Jasper looked up at the family once he was done reading. He saw the smiles on there faces with pain etched in their eyes and for the first time he looked at Esme and Carlisle and spoke "Mom.. Dad you need to save my sister.. please."

Everyone could see the pride and joy that was shown on Esme and Carlisle's face that their son had finally accepted them and the family.

The question was; would it make or break the family.

* * *

_**AN: Alright guys I know im a right idiot for not updating but I have some genuine reasons.**_

_**Feel free to leave pissed off reviews for me to read because I read all of them!**_

_**More Review means more chapters**_

_**Love Beth :3**_


	12. Sorry Guys

**Okay guys first off Im sorry this isn't a chapter but hopefully what I will say will explain everything. **

**I keep getting reviews off people asking me to delete the lyrics and to stop reposting the letters because they have already been read and people do not wish to re-read them. **

**I honestly have no clue how to do these chapters without re-writing the letters on them, If you have any Idea how I could please let me know but if I get another message like that I might just stop the story.. I seriously have no idea, so if you do please by all means let me know.**

**Let me know your opinions on how to do these chapters please? **

**Love from Beth **

**P.S**

**Yeah I know this sounds like it is aimed at the person and it kind of is but its them that have been causing me to write a lot of AN's and I know how much AN's are annoying, I barely ever read them myself unless theres a good reason XD**


	13. Emmetts POV

I didnt know if I could do this. My little sister wrote me a letter to say goodbye?

But She might tell me she hates me...

No this is Bella.

She wont hate me...

Would She?

* * *

Alice Handed me my letter and with a voice thick of emotion I began to read.

(_**Emmett's Thoughts **__The Letter)_

_Dear Big Brother Bear..._

_**She still wants me to be her big brother!**_

_**Bells I will do anything when we come home I swear!**_

_Why did you leave me Emmett? I think I made less sense of you leaving than anyone else.. I know you all wanted to play me but why not just crush me once in one of those bear hugs you give, you could have probably caused the same amount of damage in one hug than you did leaving me._

**_NO BELLA! Bella I didnt want to leave I swear, your my sister who I love and Dickward made me leave! _**

**_I swear I didnt want too... please dont hate me little sister... _**

**_I love you Bella and I will spend eternity proving that._**

_You stopped Lauren and Jessica bullying me... do you know how much that meant to me? How much I felt like crying myself to sleep because of the bullying restarting without my big brother to look after me._

**_THEY FUCKING STARTED AGAIN?! ILL RIP THERE TINY LITTLE HEADS OFF._**

**_HOW DARE THEY!_**

**_wait who just growled?_**

**_Oh It was Jaz... hmm fun._**

_I dont know how to say this in a letter but please know I love you Emmett... Please tell the family I do care._

**_Bella I don't need to tell them. _**

**_God Bella even me when Im acting like an immature child to try and make everyone laugh I still knew you cared about us._**

**_God knows why but you did... and we knew._**

_I'm writing songs for you all in my last few days... If you ever want the lyrics they will be in my room. I hope you understand that I cant live without you all..._

**_Oh I will be reading these._**

**_WHEN I GET MY SISTER BACK !_**

_Goodbye Brother._

_Love Always_

_Belly-Boo_

**_No Belly-Boo. _**

**_I wont let you die._**

* * *

A/N: Hey guys...

Sorry I kinda forgot my login details..

I did read every review though :S

So yeah Heres Emmett's

I went with the bulk of my reviewers that wanted letters on.

Got a problem?

Oh well I tried to cheer yall up but it aint easy!


	14. The Last Letter and One Last Vision

I had managed to give everyone there letters... but now its my turn and I don't think I can do it.

What if she hates me.. What if I miss someth- It will be okay...

I nodded gratefully to my mate for the calm he sent me before I opened my letter.

Bella will be okay.

I looked at my letter to see it coated in blood.. Bella's blood.

* * *

(_**Alice's Thoughts, **__Bella's Letter.)_

_Dear Alice,_

_I wanted to say goodbye to you as one of the last. Did you realise when you left I didn't just lose my love I lost my family?_

**_I am so sorry Bella... Please Please Forgive me.. I know I don't deserve it but I will beg..._**

_I never realised how badly I wanted to have a family and sisters till I met you, I would never admit it in person but those shopping trips with you meant the world to me because we were spending time together which was something I believe families do. The same as I would cook with Esme so I could spend time with my mother, Talk about History to Jasper and learn from my big brother.. Well you get the picture._

**_I KNEW YOU LIKED SHOPPING! Sorry back on track... You are my sister Bella.. how could you think we didn't care!?_**

_So when you all left I became depressed. Where Edward left me in the forest was where I stayed until a shape-shifter came and found me, he lifted me in his arms and told me I was safe and nobody would ever hurt me again. No 'Bloodsuckers' could touch me now. That made me cry harder, he would kill you if you had come to me before but even he gave up now. He realised I wasn't worth the effort he had to put in._

_How true is that statement? I'm not worth the effort._

**_You are worth everything Bella. How can you not see this? Is this not something we tried to show you whenever you came over to our house? Did the family time we had not show you we care? God! What did Edward say to you when we were leaving! Whatever he said I swear is not true... I WILL FREAKING KILL THAT TWAT._**

_I never really realised until I met you that I wasn't worth the effort for your family to put it, the act to remain human for longer just because some pathetic plain bitch was hanging around. I know now it was only to test yourselves...but I believe now I once had a chance to at least find love in a family other than some made up one in my head._

_**Bella you are our family.. how can you think we thought you were plain.. Even Rosalie didn't think you were plain. We loved you Isabella Marie Swan-Cullen and one day we will prove this too you.**_

_I know you have most likely seen my decision to jump and will wish to read this and laugh as you imagine me hitting the water, probably hitting my head or breaking bones in the process, is this what it feels like to miss a family?_

_Please tell me Alice, do you see my coming back up._

_Do you see me living again?_

_Bella._

**_Frantically I searched the future, and what I saw broke my heart. The scene on the beach was enough to kill my unbeating heart._**

* * *

Alice looked up at her family trying to speak through her dry sobs. " W-We need to leave now.. Esme.. Carlisle run. W-We will follow in c-cars. I can't see if we make it."

Esme looked at her daughter before lightly kissing her head and taking off with Carlisle.

They knew their daughter needed them.

They knew they would save her.

They had too... didn't they?

* * *

AN: hey again guys, I decided to put a chapter up and see what you thought because basically im in a good mood :D

Question is will they be in time?

What did Alice see?

25 reviews and you get to find out #3


	15. Is she saved? Or is she doomed?

**ESME POV**

I pushed my legs to run as fast as they could, I couldnt let my baby girl die.

I had never run as fast as I am now.. and Im supposed to be the second fastest in the family..

We had been running for 2 hours and we had just passed the Welcome to Forks sign.

Carlisle looked at me with a worried glance "Esme, we dont know how we will find Bella we need to have a quick hunt. Now." I nodded knowing this was probably going to save my daughters life. Ahead of us were a herd of elk and without thinking me and my husband dived in to them and snapped their necks, quickly draining the blood before we took off running again.

I steeled myself ready to face what we might find at the Cliff and without a seconds hesitation broke the treaty that has been in place for centuries. This concerned my daughter and I would die for her.

Whilst thinking this I noticed that I was following Bella's scent straight up a cliff edge but I could not see her yet.

Carlisle ran by my side, both of us looking for her in the worry only a parent can find.

I spotted her a second too late.. and just as she jumped I made my decision and dived off the edge of the cliff next to me, leaving Carlisle to run closer.

I swam to her as fast as I could. Pushing my legs to go faster.

I reached her just as she became unconshious, Somewhere in the distance I heard my husband jump but I was too busy grabbing Bella.

I knew her heart could take us running back to the house so I swam us to the beach and ran as fast as I could.

Carlisle followed, I could hear him and I knew that he was the worried father right now and not the Doctor.

Carlisle kicked the door open for me and I lay Bella on the bed.

Without hesitation I bit her neck ignoring my need to taste her blood and putting as much venom as I could in to her system. I repeated the process on her wrists and ankles. I begged and pleaded that It would be enough for her to survive.

I needed my daughter.

She needed us.

**Forever.**

* * *

**AN: Hey guys :3**

**Happy Easter :D**

**I basically decided Esme needed to save her.. but yeah.**

**So I am going to start another fanfic on the Cullens reactions to Bella's songs.**

**I was thinking the next chapter will be Bellas POV to see how she reacts to being saved and maybe flashing back to her thoughts on the cliff? **

**Love you all :D**


	16. Fire! Fire!

**BPOV**

Fire raced through my veins.. It was similar to the pain of James's bite.. only worse.

Was I dead?

Was this my punishment?

Was this God confirming the hatred of the Cullens being true?

Of course it is.

My hell.

**EPOV**

I stayed with my baby gently rubbing her hand wishing I could relieve her pain.

I couldn't bring myself to regret the pain I caused her however.

Now she would be ours forever...

The rest of the family were at Bella's staging her death and grabbing some songs,

Only myself and Carlisle had returned with Bella.

* * *

I could hear Bella's heart beat begin to slow and knew the change was coming to an end.

With one last thump her heart stopped.

My beautiful daughters eyes snapped open.

She had jumped back away from us and was snarling angrily.

My daughter hated us...

And with that final jump she lept towards us.

Ready to kill.

* * *

_**Hey Guys :3**_

_**Dont bite me please :3 (Unless your Edward of course ;) )**_

_**Right basically I don't think im very good at writing this sort of scene so I am kind of going to stop as soon as this shizzle calms down.**_

_**Probably like one more chapter...**_

_**but I am going to write some more stories the same as this from other ideas.. like I dunno letters from the Cullens apologising when they have returned in the actual new moon? **_

_**So yeah.. **_

_**Sorry and I love you..**_

_**20 reviews for the next chapter 3**_


	17. Home SweetS hit

Bella dived at Esme poised for the kill, She wanted nothing more than to tear apart the danger.

But instead of diving on Esme and killing her she dived in to Esme's arm's sobs wracking her body as she cried deeply in to her mothers shoulder. Esme closed her arms around her and rocked her daughter back and forth gently, Each sob breaking her heart.

"Shh baby girl it will all be okay" Esme whispered over and over as Carlisle gently hugged them both offering any comfort he could.

Bella knew now she wasn't alive.

She was in hell.

They would hurt her once again.

* * *

Alice put her foot down on the accelerator, she needed to get home to her sister. To apologise. To beg forgiveness.

How could she have done this to her?

Why didn't she fight Edward harder?

What if Bella died?

What would happen?

* * *

Jasper watched the turmoil on his mate's face and couldn't help but feel slightly responsible.

He knew he could control his blood lust now even if it killed him.

Bella was his baby sister and he wanted nothing more than to protect her.

A small smile graced Jaspers features as he thought through the roles in his family.

Alice:- The excitement of the family.

Edward :- The cautionary side of the family.

Rosalie:- Defensive yet loving

Emmett:- Fun but annoying.

Carlisle:- The compassion that made them all feel loved.

Esme:- The heart of the family.

Himself :- The hard exterior ready to battle anything.

And Bella? Bella was the glue that held them all to each other.

* * *

Emmett watched on as his siblings and wife rushed their cars to get home, They all needed to get to their little sister.

Emmett knew despite what Bella had said there was a small chance he was too blame.

Only he now knew he could sort it out the way any big brother should.

* * *

Rosalie drove with a mad panic she had only felt once in her life.

The only feeling she could compare this too was the feeling she felt when she found Emmett dying in the forest, the urgency to protect and save them both was something she rarely felt and rarely was happy to feel.

Rosalie watched as Alice turned in to Charlie's drive and climbed the tree in the dead of night before driving past.

She had a little sister she needed to save.

* * *

Alice picked the songs up and breathed in the deep scent that could only be called Bella.

She never knew her little sister was a song writer but she did know that her sister would have wrote perfect songs for them all.

And one day those songs would be known well.

* * *

Bella froze as all the Cullen children pulled in to the garage. Carlisle and Esme has explained to her what had happened and how sorry they were.

Of course they had expected hate but Bella just hugged them and told them the truth "Your my parents, I could never hate you".

Now she just needed to convince her siblings of that.

She was about to take off and hug them all (EVEN ROSALIE) when she was knocked flying by a blonde bomb.

"Darlin, Don't you ever do something stupid like that again! You nearly killed us!"

She looked up in shock at her attacker as the blonde has scared her slightly.

To her surprise she found...

* * *

_**AN: Hey guys :3 **_

_**I did eventually update when I got the reviews, **_

_**Tell me who you think jumped Bella?**_

_**-evil smirk-**_

_**See ya soon :D**_


	18. The End

To her surprise she found... Rosalie on top of her.

"uh Rose?"

Rose gulped noticeably " erm... dont do that?..."

Jasper smirked knowingly "Your spending too much time around me rose"

Rose nodded and glared slightly.

And just like that all was right in the Cullens lives again.

* * *

An: Hey guys this is the end of the story because basically I have no clue what to write any more, And Im shit at lovey dovey stuff, I am in real life as well.

So yeah... Ill do more stories but its kinda over now.

BYE


	19. Esme's Reaction to the Song

Esme sighed, It had been a few months since Bella's change and she knew she had to read the song her youngest child had wrote for her. Esme believed it was part of her punishment for being a terrible mother. As she ran from the house with the song in hand she steeled herself for the heartbreak she knew she was certain to feel upon reading the lyrics. With this thought in mind she headed to a small alcove that Bella had shown to Esme, Their little place to talk when all was wrong in either's mind.

Esme sat next to the waterfall, her skin sparkling like a million diamonds and her hair falling in loose caramel waves down her back and sides. She truly was a vision for anybody to view. She wore a brown skin tight t-shirt that showed off her every curve that was complimented by the boot cut jeans she was wearing. To complete her outfit she was wearing knee height boots with a slight heel.

Esme began to read the lyrics and found herself wishing she could hear her daughter sing them.

**Mama, you taught me to do the right things. **  
**So, now you have to let your baby fly. **  
**You've given me everything that I will need. **  
**To make it through this crazy thing called life. **  
**And I know you watched me grow up, **  
**and only want what's best for me. **  
**And I think I found the answer to your prayers. **

**And he Is good, so good. **  
**He treats your little girl, **  
**like a real man should. **  
**He is good, SO good. **  
**He makes promises he keeps. **  
**No, he's never gonna leave. **  
**So, don't you worry about me. **  
**Don't you worry about me. **

**Mama, there's no way you'll ever lose me. **  
**Giving me away is not goodbye. **  
**As you watch me walk down to my future, **  
**I hope tears of joy are in your eyes. **

**Cause, he is good, so good. **  
**And, he treats your little girl, **  
**like a real man should. **  
**He is good, SO good. **  
**He makes promises he keeps. **  
**No, he's never gonna leave. **  
**So, don't you worry about me. **  
**Don't you worry about me. **

**And when I watch my baby grow up, **  
**I'll only want what's best for her. **  
**And I hope she'll find, **  
**the answer to my prayers. **  
**And that she'll say... **

**He is good, so good. **  
**And he treats your little girl, **  
**like a real man should. **  
**He is good, SO good. **  
**He makes promises he keeps. **  
**No, he's never gonna leave. **  
**So, don't you worry about me. **  
**Don't you worry about me. **

**Mama, don't you worry about me. **  
**Don't you worry about me.**

Esme could barely hold back the dry sobs she felt inside, She re-read the lyrics over and over again and could not believe her youngest child's last words to her would have been goodbye please don't worry. Esme could hear someone running towards her but she didnt have the heart to care at the current moment, She needed to finish the inner anguish she felt.

Suddenly arms surrounded her and she was pulled in to her husbands arms as he gently cooed to her trying to console her.

Carlisle felt helpless as he watched his wife fall apart for the first time since she received her letter. Esme had always been the strong one that preferred to be strong for her children. But even then once in a life time you need a break. As he gently cooed to his beautiful mate he text his daughter asking her to come to them, He knew what Esme needed now more than ever. She needed Bella.

Bella took off running as soon as she got Carlisle's text, her mother needed her and Bella knew how much her mother felt for her children now, after many many lectures about how important Bella was too them all.

As Bella entered the littler clearing her heart broke as she saw her mother broken in her fathers embrace, and she quickly switched places with Carlisle who was only too happy to oblige as he saw his wife instantly cheer up slightly.

"B-Bella please sing the song..."

Bella froze at her mothers words but knew it would be the only way to sate her sadness, and with that she began to sing.

Carlisle and Esme listened in wonder to their beautiful daughters voice as she looked across at the waterfall, her brown hair was now shown better with the small red highlights showing much better after the change. Her skin sparkled as if the diamonds were made for her instead of them being a sign of the monster. Her blue cami-top complimenting her hair and golden eyes beautifully as if blue should be the only color warn. Her beautiful features etched in pain as she remembered the song and why she wrote it. Her jeans crinkled beneath her every time she moved. Esme decided as she watched, she was blessed with the love of such a child she should be very happy.

As Bella finished she realized these songs were going to be sung one way or another.

But she would rather let her family hear them then live after them than to see her family break down alone.

For they were family.


	20. Carlisle song and FatherDaughterSong

Carlisle was slightly worried about reading the song his youngest had wrote him; especially after his wife's reaction. They had all come to realise the key to their true hapiness was with Bella, she completed the family in a way they had never seen or even thought about untill she came along.

Esme and Carlisle had always tried to figure out why Bella had distanced herself from physical afection; she shied away from it all the time until she was changed and the family had explained their feelings for Bella. Carlisle had noticed how when she first came to meet the family she wasn't scared of walking in to a coven of vampires she was more scared of forming an attachment to them all.

Carlisle shook his head in anger at the feelings he was feeling right now; how had he not realised how much his baby had needed him? How could he have walked away from her and left her to sort it out on her own. What kind of father does that to his baby? The self-hatred he was feeling was enough for anyone to want to die.

Silently he opened the envelope in which his song was sealed in and read the lyrics to himself silently and as he did Bella watched him from the tree's ready to jump and help her father at any moment.

**_Wind blowin' on my face  
Sidewalk flyin' beneath my bike  
A five year-old's first taste  
Of what freedom's really like  
He was runnin' right beside me  
His hand holdin' on the seat  
I took a deep breath and hollered  
As I headed for the street_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Oh, I think I'm ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It's still a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**

**_I was standin' at the altar_**  
**_Between the two loves of my life_**  
**_To one I've been a daughter_**  
**_To one I soon would be a wife_**  
**_When the preacher asked,_**  
**_'Who gives this woman?'_**  
**_Daddy's eyes filled up with tears_**  
**_He kept holdin' tightly to my arm_**  
**_'Till I whispered in his ear_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Oh, I think I'm ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It still feels a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**

**_It was killin' me to see_**  
**_The strongest man I ever knew_**  
**_Wastin' away to nothin'_**  
**_In that hospital room_**  
**_'You know he's only hangin' on for you'_**  
**_That's what the night nurse said_**  
**_My voice and heart were breakin'_**  
**_As I crawled up in his bed, and said_**

**_You can let go now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_Your little girl is ready_**  
**_To do this on my own_**  
**_It's gonna be a little bit scary_**  
**_But I want you to know_**  
**_I'll be ok now, Daddy_**  
**_You can let go_**  
**_You can let go_**

Carlisle instantly felt a new kind of sadness, even when his daughter had been breaking and just holding on for a few seconds longer she had been trying to comfort him. As he began to sob he felt Bella incase him in her arms gently and murmer softly to him trying to calm him "Shush daddy its okay now, we are all together again."

Bella hated to see her father so broken; she wasn't used to it and had took her a long time to accept affection from her family due to her always been the one who had had to give it to her mother, she wasn't used to recieving it and it had terrified her to begin with. Now though she felt safe and happy when her parents told her they loved her, when her siblings fought playfully over who she loved the most. She kept comforting her father gently till he accepted her in his arms and kissed her head telling her over and over how sorry he was.

"Im so sorry babygirl, we never should have left you." Bella froze slightly at the words, her insecurities instantly flaring at her as he said those words, was she going to be left again. Carlisle feeling her tense began to hug her tighter and whispered in her ear "shh babygirl we will never leave you again." Carlisle could feel Bella relaxing in his arms which made him smile until he heard her whisper something so quiet if he was human he surely would have missed it "Dadda... will you sing with me?"

Bella showed him some lyrics to a new song she wrote and Carlisle smiled and nodded and together they began to sing in time with her song. Their family watched from afar to see this beautiful moment. Their family was for once nearly complete.

_**You tuck me in,**_  
_**Turn out the light**_  
_**kept me safe and sound at night**_  
_**little girls depend on things like that**_

_**Brushed my teeth and combed my hair**_  
_**had to drive me everywhere**_  
_**you were always there when I looked back**_

_**You had to do it all alone**_  
_**Make a living, make a home**_  
_**Must have been as hard as it could be**_

_**And when I couldn't sleep at night**_  
_**Scared things wouldn't turn out right**_  
_**you would hold my hand and sing to me**_

_**Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be**_  
_**can't go far but you can always dream**_  
_**Wish you may and wish you might**_  
_**Don't you worry, hold on tight.**_  
_**I promise you there will come a day**_  
_**Butterfly fly away**_

_**Turned around and you were there**_  
_**The two of us made quite a pair**_  
_**Daddy's little girl was here at last**_  
_**Looked away and back again**_  
_**Suddenly a year was ten**_  
_**Don't know how it got so far so fast**_

_**And yes dear, you don't understand**_  
_**It's not anything we planned**_  
_**Kind of makes you think it's meant to be **_**(it's a destiny)**  
_**I always knew the day would come**_  
_**You'd stop crawling, start to run**_  
_**Beautiful as beautiful can be**_

_**Caterpillar in the tree**_  
_**How you wonder who you'll be**_  
_**Can't go far but you can always dream**_  
_**Wish you may and wish you might**_  
_**Don't you worry, hold on tight**_  
_**I promise you there will come a day**_  
_**Butterfly fly away**_

_**Butterfly fly away**_** (butterfly fly away)**  
_**Got your wings, now you can't stay**_  
_**Take those dreams and make them all come true**_

_**Butterfly fly away **_**(butterfly fly away)**  
_**You've been waiting for this day**_  
_**All along you've known just what to do**_

_**Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly**_  
_**Butterfly fly away**_  
_**Butterfly fly away**_** (I hope you find your way and all the things you wish for, love and care about)**  
_**Butterfly fly away **_**(oh, won't you fly away)**  
_**Butterfly fly away **_**(oh, won't you fly away)**  
_**Butterfly fly away**_

* * *

AN:

Hey guys sorry its been a while I was having quite a hard time in real; dealing with some bullies and things so yeah I know its a rubbish excuse but its true.

Songs :- crystal shawanda :- you can let go now

Butterfly fly away :- Miley and Billy Rae Cyrus


End file.
